Say YES to yourself. YES to parts you like and Yes to parts you learned to dislike.

On Borrowed Light No More!

by doris wolz-cohen, mft

Borrowed light is reflected light. As the moon borrows light from the sun, children borrow light from their caregivers to help them identify and process feelings they have and to help them understand their inner lives.

“I was born and raised in Germany and something big happened, when I found out about the Holocaust during adolescence. It happened almost instantly that I lost faith in people—in you and in myself—because of what I saw we were capable of and got away with. Borrowing light from anybody as well as following anybody’s direction started to feel dangerous to me. I no longer believed in authority and felt it wasn’t safe to trust it.”

The you I wanted to get to know better and learn to love. Gone. The me I wanted to get to know better and learn to love. Gone. We weren’t there anymore. Not in an authentic way. Hiding felt more authentic. It felt safer than staying authentically connected and engaged.

Over time hiding wasn’t working though. It felt lonely. I wanted to open my heart more again, which started happening with poets and mystics I felt drawn to, because their lives and work deeply moved me. They gradually helped me realize that I could feel myself in the presence of our worst and best selves without feeling devastated and disempowered. Through their eyes, I could see the Light in us—whether we believed or didn’t believe in this and/or that. Believers AND non-believers, I could know that we all are extensions of the same Soul.

A fellow poetry lover asked: “Who did you write this for? What is the purpose of this story?” She commented, “There were some confusing aspects to me. You speak passionately about the Zohar but then switch to biblical and other people without intro or meaning so, to me, it felt like it wandered a bit off the trail in places.”

Was I wandering off? Feels more like I was “coming around again.” After losing trust in authority during adolescence, I returned to letting myself be spiritually directed by mystics, poets, bible quotes and fellow soul and tree lovers.

What can I say? So any poets and mystics, but also friends, colleagues, teachers and students of Soulful Relating whose lives informed and inspired me, helped me arrive where I am today. Their passion and the life and work they committed to, restored my faith in people— in you and in myself. Seeing the world through their eyes, I could see and say Yes again, We Are Good People And We Have A Soul. There really is a place—Rumi talks about it in his poem Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing—where our beliefs and identifications don’t define and separate us.

I wrote “On Borrowed Light No More!” because the Jewish mystical story of the Zohar about the sun and the moon was instrumental in helping me understand my attachment/ abandonment wound and what it takes to heal my relationship with people and to self-differentiate. Instead of waiting for others to be perfect team players, I learned that I can stand in my inner Light and got to experience the Soul that flows through both of us without the need to borrow light from you.

Searching for what connects us people, I came to believe that anybody’s psychological and spiritual journey is not unlike the journey of the moon…the journey of Jesus, of all believers and nonbelievers. We all are called to heal our wounds, forgive those who wounded and that we were created wound-able in the first place. We can land in a place where all parts and people can live and thrive—Soul’s Dwelling. Auf deutsch Seelenbleibe. Für mich Bleibe.

If you have felt abandoned or misguided by attachment figures and/or have struggled with a love addiction….if you are still trying to borrow light from others…waiting for them to validate you and give you permission to be yourself, please learn more about the Light that’s woven into the fabric of creation and how to practice standing and walking in that Light, I encourage you to download and read “On Borrowed Light No More!” It’s meant to inspire you to practice standing and walking in the Light that allows everybody to self-differentiate and, at the same time, belong?

A friend forwarded Today’s Inspiration fromTeaching of the Inner Christ, ” Do not think there is any part of yourself that should be cut off or cut out. For the whole must be saved, through the loving of it.”

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