Soulful Tending
One goal in Soulful Relating (SR) is to create an intra-psychic atmosphere of compassion so that no part of self is shamed or blamed when things go wrong in your life.
You are a child of Heaven and of earth, and thus you exist in two worlds. Your physical/emotional/mental body lives on earth in a dualistic world, and the invisible, indivisible Soul, your higher Self, dwells in Heaven within— your inmost core.
Your giving and whole-making Soul and your vulnerable body-self appear in spacetime together. When body and Soul are connected and experience the dualistic world together, your Soul offers the love and support your body needs to feel safe enough to process and integrate difficult and painful emotions that tend to get triggered in daily life no matter how much you try to avoid them. C.G. Jung called this body-Soul connection the “Ego-Self Axis.”
Your ego is imperfectly human and your Soul is perfectly divine. Giving/Receiving is the natural flow between your Soul and unintegrated, wounded and wounding parts of self—your inner Youth. When nothing blocks this flow, you are in the river of life—fluid like water— and you feel safe, unafraid and cared for.
For many of us, the flow of giving and receiving got interrupted in childhood. Whenever you felt wounded and emotionally abandoned, you likely repressed and buried emotions such as hurt, fear, anger, or shame, because they were too painful to understand and process alone. This led to fears that lack of diligence in maintaining control of your inner and outer environments will emotionally trigger and overwhelm your ego.
Unfortunately, you will get triggered, again and again, until you recognize that you are not alone. Your Soul is here with you and, together, you can befriend and soulfully tend to parts in you that carry adverse experiences without feeling overwhelmed.
Soulful Tending is a body-centered practice of giving and receiving that connects suffering parts of self with your witnessing Soul-presence.
When you feel triggered and experience tension or intense emotions, tune into your body and notice where the discomfort lives in you. Place your giving hand there and consciously breathe into the area you are touching. Start breathing uncomfortable feelings you’ve been avoiding into your inmost core, your inner heart. Imagine being inside your giving hand and let your body experience your loving touch. Be present and wait until your body signals that it has received the presence and love you offered. Explore other possible soothing gestures that work for you such as giving yourself a gentle squeeze or gently massaging the area. Linger until you feel that your body received what is given. Repeat this to calm your system down and to bring these parts under Soul’s Wings.
To change your relationship with you outer and inner environments and enter a state of flow, cultivate willingness and openness to give and receive and practice it daily. It will help you see all feeling-parts with compassion.
To learn more about Soulful Relating and Soulful Tending, contact me to schedule a 20 min free consultation at doriswolzcohen@mac.com